My Kitchen Rules… #MKR is off to Perth

My Kitchen Rules…Perth

Nothing like trying to eat dinner while watching MKR…my pressure cooker decided to take longer than I thought it would…anyway I digress.

So tonight we’re in Perth with “good” car salesman Andre and “attention of a goldfish” Kat who loves having fun…honey I hope you have fun tonight.

Pete’s in foodie heaven with seafood and seafood…smoked cod for entrée…the question is are the smoking it themselves???  Especially as last night they wanted home-smoked salmon.

The instant restaurant is called Fin and Tonic “we love fins and we love gins” oh honey please don’t make me laugh too much while I’m eating my curry…let alone not knowing which way to put the cutlery, honey, honey, honey you’re going to get pulled up on that I’ll tell you now.

So apparently the spuds are boiled, mashed, frozen, battered and then deep-fried…what the hell??? What happened to simplicity???  Given they want to keep it simple!!!

The smoker is hypo girl’s new toy…except it’s still pretty new and the poor love is unsure she’s doing it right…oh honey, honey, honey I’m worried for you again.

Ohhhhh the same old doorbell sound and amazingly they don’t squeal…it’s all the others that do instead.  Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow…that’s all we hear from the others when they get to the table.

Damn…Ash froths over scallops, what a shame there’s no scallops…but thankfully she noticed the cutlery and it’s a bit awkies and of course she’s got no main knife…oh poor love.

He’s poaching the fish, but he’s not sure as poaching is more her area…so why the hell isn’t she poaching the fish???

Ding-dong…no the witch isn’t dead…that’s just Kat announcing that Pete and Manu have arrived.  Plus we find out that Ash thinks that Manu is diiiivine….with a cooling herself off with her hand motion…oh bless the lady.

For the love of god…now the mash looks like little lamingtons that need to be like crunchy clouds…after they’ve been in eggs, milk, flour and crumbs and are now in the deep fryer…I’m concerned.

Back at the table Camilla and Manu are having a French subtitles…where’s the subtitles for us???

Entrée – smoked cod with crunchy mash, cabbage and leek.  Entrée is served and it is honestly a tiny piece of fish on top of the mash with the cabbage and leek on top.  I’m disappointed by the size of the fish.  But Kat says the fish is the “hero of this dish”…honestly it’s a tiny little bit of fish!!!  Pete thought it looked like restaurant food, but there crunchy mash is too bland and the fish wasn’t smoked…funny about that.  Now for a maths lesson about ratios, um hello I said it was a tiny little bit of fish!!!  Manu loved the leek and cabbage and he confuses us by saying “I had to eat half of my potato before eating my fish as I wanted to eat fish and potato together” ohhhh Manu you could have done that from the start.  Ash and Camilla aren’t impressed whatsoever…non-smoked fish and soggy mash.  Gina and Anna aren’t impressed at all, especially judging on their facial expressions.

Main – crayfish ravioli with roasted tomato sauce.  While we’re waiting Annie talks about musicals and I think she’s now in the line of fire from our dear Ash after asking if she played the lion when she was in the Wizard of Oz…honey, honey, honey, think then talk.  They wanted to serve within half an hour…yep we’re up to an hour and Robert starts a bull story…let’s sit back and enjoy shall we?  Now the pasta is drying out and Kat’s started to get verbal diarrhoea and it looks like everyone may only get 2 ravioli for the main…I would be shitty, just saying.  To save the others getting hangry Robert starts talking about skunks and turkeys…food, what food???  But the pasta is splitting, getting holes and some people will get two and others three…I think they’ll be super hangry…oh and we’re now 2 hours since entrée.  As for sauce it looks just like roasted tomatoes as opposed to a sauce…Kat honey you’re right…you’re going to get nailed for this!!!  Anna says to kill her now as the energy required to eat 2 ravioli is more than what she’ll take in from them.  Pete naturally enough wanted more and gave another maths lesson…and of course the pasta is undercooked.  Manu says there’s more tomatoes than there is crayfish…such an underwhelming hero.  Fancy that the tomatoes taste nice say the others…but Shaz thinks it is pleasant, even though it was undercooked and that she can’t taste crayfish.

Dessert – chocolate tart with raspberries and cream.  Finally we see dessert…honestly nothing was done about it before now.  Pastry done…sauce into pastry, cut raspberry halves put on it because the menu says raspberries, not raspberry and it goes into the fridge…seriously it couldn’t have been done before now???  Well I’m underwhelmed by how it looks even though Kat thinks it is pretty.  Anna is getting super hangry as it is a mini tart…she’s stopping for Maccas on her way to the hotel I think.  Manu thinks they’ve been consistently stingy in all three courses…gee don’t hold back mate…and yep he comments on the raspberry cut in half.  Pete’s like…”oh really?” about the size of it…yep, perfect response my dear.  Shaz thinks it’s noice…such a great Australian there.


Ash and Camilla – 6

Gina and Anna – 5

Annie and Lloyd – 5

Robert and Lynzey – 5

Jac and Shaz – 6…I’m surprised that all the other teams scored them so highly.

Entrée – Manu 6, Pete 6

Main – Pete 4, Manu 4

Dessert – Pete 6, Manu 5

Total score… 58/110…a whole 1 point behind Jac and Shaz.

Next we’re off to…New South Wales to Robert and Lynzey.


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