My Kitchen Rules…The Captain tries to save his sinking ship.

Well I’m curled up in a hotel room…ever so spectacular…yeah maybe not so great, but I’ve even got some not as good as Country Town 2.0 Chinese takeaway…I mean really when you get honey chicken the honey shouldn’t be at the bottom of the container and not on or around the chicken, mind you it is the biggest small size friend rice I’ve ever seen and the prawn toast was served with prawn crackers and then they put in another whole bag of prawn crackers…well I ate one of the prawn crackers, but that’s it.

Anyway, we’re off to Cairns for tonight…The Captain and Trophy Wife and they’re planning on running a tight ship…oh dear, and to think she made the dad joke and not him.  As for the action plan…well honey I’m sorry but everyone who’s had them has stuffed up…so not a good sign.  But oh look, we get to see Coles tonight, last night we didn’t.

Foodie Daughter has high expectations, oh darl, do you not realise that they did crappy last time and that’s why they’re back???  Now I love corn soup…I’m not sure about it with prawns and avocado though.  Oh look we’re running around Coles with our spreadsheet in the order we run around Coles…organised much???  Flower Power Girl is hoping for seafood or crocodile…um sorry honey!!  Mind you I had crocodile in Country Town 2.0 a couple of weeks ago.

It’s okay Harry and Christo there are chairs this time.  Darling and Baby think they need a drink as they’re so far ahead of schedule, but calling it shampoo is quite bizarre.  I’m thinking they’re long lost relatives of Kath and Kim.

Now not big noting myself or anything, but I’m a bit of a chocolate cake fan and a decent chocolate cake cook, but how the heck does something that is like a crème brulee look like a chocolate cake???  I’m confused already and I would be ignoring the oranges completely.  I’m not sure how she thinks the oranges are perfect…perfect means one whole perfect slice, not a mangled slice with bits missing.

Ohhhh…taste over appearance…yes taste is vitally important, but why can’t you have taste and appearance???  And don’t be over confident Captain.  I do like a good wobble test for a cake…but it can be slightly dangerous if there’s spillage.  I’m concerned that nobody seems to consider the amount of food in the oven when it comes to cooking times…one will take 40 minutes, two together will take slightly longer.

Trophy Wife, Trophy Wife, Trophy Wife…why did you not do the trousers last night or this morning??? Or teach him as he’s too busy having a glass of red…well it does save any potential spillage issues.  As for seeing him trouser-less…cover my eyes!!!!  They’re burning with the imprint of the view.

Oh look they’re giving out sailor’s hats…well Flower Power Girl is happy, Foodie Mum not so happy…she’s declared them not the sort of people she would invite back over for dinner…um you do realise they haven’t been to your place yet don’t you?  Oh dear god…Harry is sitting with Foodie Daughter…he’s the master of flirting during this show…so far there’s been the Tassie Girls, then Little Misses Posh and now Foodie Daughter.  Oh dear, Foodie Daughter is basically a married woman and wants it toned back…um is that married, engaged, dating, I’m not too sure.

Um there’s a lot of corn and there’s a bit of onion and a tad of corn stock…have you heard of chicken stock or vegetable stock darling, it’s going to be a tad too thick I think…The Captain meanwhile is busy having yet another red.  I think he’s forgotten it’s a cooking show and not a wine drinking show.

Oh dear Foodie Science Geeks think the menu is like an RSL and poor Foodie Mum does frequent RSL’s…well neither did I until 5 weeks ago and I’ll tell you there’s not of these dishes at the RSL in Country Town 2.0…there’s Chinese entrée and Chinese main and no choices of dessert, so you might be okay to frequent that my dear.

Entrée – Corn soup with grilled tiger prawns and avocado.  Oh my goodness gracious me….there is a ring of avocado in the middle of the soup and then the prawn on top and one on the side with a bit of lime.  There are no words to adequately describe what I am seeing and thinking.  Maybe I’ll go with Foodie Mum and Daughter “a thick, gluggy puree” and that took the two of them to come up with that.  Oh poor Trophy Wife, there’s thick soup and there’s puree, there’s a bit of a line between them, but honey I know which way your dish is leaning.  Now I have to say I’ve made a mean corn soup in the pressure cooker and it definitely wasn’t as pureey as that one.  I love that Pete seems to build up The Captain and Trophy Wife, he starts talking about the great soups he’s had around the world and they can’t stop smiling…until he says that it won’t tip out of the bowl and the prawns are overcooked, oh but The Captain realised he did that, ummmm is he having a senior moment as he kept saying they were perfect a few minutes ago.  Thank you Manu…that’s what I was almost thinking, baby food as the soup and the avocado had the same texture.  God love Flower Power Girl…she compares the soup to a corn dip…oh she’s a cutie.

Main – Pork medallions with cauliflower puree, green beans and mushroom sauce.  Oh dear…The Captain is too busy making dad jokes about being the bean counter as he is literally counting beans…scarier still he thinks that it is tote ridic and cray cray…oh dear lord please save me!!!  I love that Little Misses Posh think that Foodie Mum is sucking the life out of the party and the competition and poor Flower Power Girl doesn’t like pork as she watched Babe as a kid, but she does eat bacon…ummm I would say I’m confused, but I love bacon and I tolerate chunks of pork and ham….mmmmmmm bacon….insert Homer Simpson drooling here.  I’m with some of the others that I wouldn’t want mushroom sauce…I’m not overly into mushroom sauce at the best of times, let alone the worst.  Oh dear the mushroom sauce is runny, the soup was too thick, where’s the happy medium tonight.  They’re thickening it with cornflour then adding parmesan cheese…um now I’m seriously confused!!  Parmesan cheese in the mushroom sauce.  I agree with them it’s not looking nice at all.  Oh dear poor Foodie Mum has her head in her hands when her and Foodie Daughter are talking and Foodie Daughter can’t even see the pork…oh this should be fun!!!  Well Manu thinks it is all well-seasoned…and that is it…it is not a puree as it is not smooth, it is not a medallion as it is bashed and smashed and not about 1cm think.  Pete’s not happy with the sauce as the mushrooms are lost in the butter and cream.  Oh look The Captain has realised it is turning into his worst nightmare.  Little Miss Positivity believes the pork is cooked perfectly, Little Miss Posh thinks the pork has been destroyed.

Dessert­ – Chocolate cake with candied liquor oranges.  So dessert is almost ready…they think!!  There’s a bit of cream, but now there’s the job of getting the cake out…ummmm I’m still concerned about the term cake…it doesn’t look cakey to me!!!  Oh Flower Power Girl I am loving you just because you said you love chocolate as it is a happy food…you are so, so, so cute.  Well dessert looks alright and even Little Miss Posh manages to say “Yum!”  Foodie Mum thinks it looks spectacular and is in complete and utter shock.  The Captain is remaining super positive saying he knows the dish tastes good and the judges will love it.  Well Pete loves the presentation and said it looks like it is to die for, but it tastes rather shocking and his face is all over the place and is confused about if it’s a mousse, cake, tart or brulee. Manu thinks it is a flan and over cooked.  Foodie Daughter takes a big spoonful as it is so beautiful but then decides it is icky and would have spat it into her napkin if she was at home.  Little Misses Posh think it is scrambled egg something.  Poor Harry takes a fork and then thinks “fork you” and leaves the rest…oh the poor things.

Scores

Flower Power Girl and Little Miss Positivity – 7 (based on the flavours working…they’re taking positivity a bit far I think tonight)

Little Misses Posh – 3

Foodie Science Geeks – 2

Foodie Mum and Daughter – 2

Victorian Boys – 1 (“David’s talked the talk but he’s walking the plank”…oh Harry!!)

They got 15 off the other contestants…nearly half of that off Flower Power Girl and Little Miss Positivity.

Judges

Entrée – Pete 2, Manu 1…I have to say I’m getting pretty good at predicting what scores Pete and Manu will give…I’m impressing myself.

Main – Pete 2, Manu 3

Dessert – Manu 2, Pete 2

They’re total score is…27…oh look…they’re on the bottom, it’s out of them and Foodie Mum and Foodie Daughter to see who is going home…ummmmmmmm I can’t decide who I would rather go home.

Tomorrow we’re off to see Foodie Mum and Foodie Daughter…I have to say I’ve been waiting for this!!!  Oh dear, they’re talking about being organised and having a plan…well that hasn’t helped anyone yet.  Looks like we’re off to the country manor though.  Looks like The Captain’s mouth will be running tomorrow night!!!  Bring it on I say!!!

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