My Kitchen Rules…mum’s the word!

Tonight we’re off to Adelaide with the two mums…and right off the bat I’m ready to say you’re Australian…they’re biscuits…NOT COOKIES!!!

It’s interesting that no other team can even attempt to guess that the mums are cooking for the instant restaurant…kind of bizarre!!

Well main sounds fancy…basically steak and chips with sauce…Manu should be happy as sauce was mentioned.  An hour of driving for scallops or frozen scallops…such a damn dilemma, just get your bums into gear ladies…time is of the essence today more than ever before… Oh look now there’s a cutlery drama…I’m feeling déjà vu from the boys last night…then again who actually owns entrée forks and dessert forks these days????  Definitely not me.

Good thing the girls are already onto dessert so hopefully the others won’t wait forever for it.  Oh goodness gracious…how do you lose two huge chunks of meat???  I mean really!!!  Oh no…that’s right, give us an ad break before telling us they had a blonde moment and only bought 2 pieces of meat…but apparently fine dining means leaving hungry.  Well The Captain won’t be happy….oh but he’s expecting home style cooking, whilst dressed up and with Trophy Wife frocked up.  Oh no, a half scream with the doorbell…no, no, no!

The mums have told us that the restaurant is called Sage and one meaning is domestic virtue…who knew that???  Oh Ditzy Darling you are so cute…The Captain and Trophy Wife “aren’t bottom of the leader board, but aren’t top of the friendship board either.”  Now Miss WA is expecting oysters…and thankfully Mrs Darling is expecting steak.  Miss WA is cracking awful dad jokes to the Vic boys…oh honey, you know you haven’t cooked yet!!

Oh dear…Trophy Wife and the BFFs can’t understand the menu…and a lot aren’t sure about what stilton dressing is.  Miner Boy is worried, so I hope for his sake the dressing is on the side and not all over the dish.

Nothing like the smoke alarm going off!!  Poor Hapless Harry is a tad excited about it and The Captain is pushing it to the edge in not the right way.

Oh girls, girls, girls…nicely cooked scallops will be so much better than non-caramelised stewed scallops…gee they’re not playing favourites or anything digging through the tray of scallops so that they give Pete and Manu the best looking ones.

Entrée – Scallops with Wilted Bitter Greens and Stilton Dressing.  Well Manu’s eyelashes are battering while telling the mums it is fine dining and even Pete’s blue eyes are dazzling and his adjectives are flowing on the best dish he’s eaten so far…and look the Captain is silent…as is Miss WA…how long will that last???  Oh damn…Miss WA didn’t like the scallops, The Captain was happy, but Trophy Wife wasn’t.

Main – Salt Baked Chateaubriand with Chervil Bearnaise and Pommes Frites.  Oh dear…now the poor things are overly stressing about the meat as they can’t see it in the pastry.  ½kg of butter in the sauce…I think Manu will be happy with the amount of sauce.  Seriously ladies cut the meat…stop the fluffing about and stressing, just cut the damn thing!  Should I be concerned that she thinks cutting the meat is similar to the feeling of relief when she had a baby…um okay!  Oh look, steak and chips…with sauce and a side serve of salad leaves.  I’m not sure about piling the chips up on top of the steak though.  Strangely enough it’s not what the beautiful blue eyes of Pete were expecting, but those blue eyes are open super wide again with joy.  Manu doesn’t think the sauce is perfect…but you know he does have a major sauce fetish so of course he’s entitled to criticise it.  Oh look The Captain is still happy, other than the fact that the mums have said they’re just ordinary mums cooking ordinary food…well steak and chips is rather ordinary if you ask me.

Dessert – Raspberry mousse cake with macerated berries and sugar coated almonds.  Um I’m concerned that The Captain thinks that a mousse cake will be moose shaped…WTF???  The cakes are looking good…I’d be happy with just the cake and no strawberries or nuts or flowers.  I’m sorry but Mrs Darling thinks it is huge…I’d quite happily enjoy that mousse cake, especially that size…or maybe with a lighter cake as Manu is suggesting.  Yes of course you change your normal recipe on the day you’re cooking, because a sponge cake would have been perfect with raspberry mousse.  OMFG The Captain loved the entire dish…knock me over with a feather!!!  As for the others there’s a bit of confusion…they’re not sure if they like the cake or like the mousse, but they don’t like them together.


Tas – 8

Qld – 9

WA – 8

Vic – 8

NSW – 8

41/50 from the other contestants is enough to bring the poor mums to tears…sorry Harry and Christo, they only need 3 to beat you, I reckon they’ll romp it in…


Entrée – Pete “if I could give you 11 I would” 10 (yeah they just romped past you boys), Manu 10

Main – Manu 9 (and he’s offered to give the mums his sauce recipe and show them how to make it), Pete 10

Dessert – Manu 5, Pete 5

Thank you maths boffins, they scored 90 points…heck the Captain is smiling ridiculously…I’m seriously scared!!!

On Sunday we’re off to WA for the last of this round of instant restaurants and strangely enough they’re super-cocky about definitely going through to the next round…don’t count your chickens Miss WA and Miner Boy!!!

Oh yes and the preview shows that Pete says a dish is the worse dish he’s had in the competition…bring it on!!!  This will be interesting!!!!


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Taswegian1957
    Feb 13, 2014 @ 12:36:35

    I am so enjoying this series of posts because it reassures me that I’m right not to watch the show. (But I love your description of it.)


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