My Kitchen Rules…the case of Hapless Harry

Got to love it…they’re holding the dinner at Christo’s mum’s place…got to love young guys for that…got to love mums for offering their houses.  Strangely enough the Captain’s already talking rubbish…saying that the boys are cocky.

Okay I know they’re using the mum’s place, but why didn’t they already get the trays and tart tins prior to cooking day.  Good thing they’ve bought extra eggs after seeing the ads and preview…oh and after crashing the trolley in the car park. Good thing they didn’t buy back-up pastry…we all know how great that went down previously.  Now the poor buggers don’t have enough cutlery, oh dear lord did you not count them earlier???  Pity Little Misses Posh aren’t there for the croquettes.

No sooner do the boys start cooking do they drop eggs…seriously focus darling…sugar into the flour, then white sugar and not icing sugar…oh dear are they related to Ditzy Darling?  Now the poor thing thinks he’s using a blender and not a food processor…well that says a lot…and more eggs go down.  Oh dear god…now he’s dropped the beans for the blind baking…does he realise he’s hardly even into the day/night?

Hahahahah…he’s not going to make it to serving anyone…the tart crust looks shocking after he nearly dropped it and he’s off to buy some pre-made pastry…he better cop the wrath of Pete and Manu for that effort!!!!  Heck how much pastry does he need and how many types???  Thank goodness Christo was able to make the pastry for the entrée.

Oh look the Captain has managed to completely confuse Trophy Wife by calling blood ‘claret’…poor thing had no idea.  Good to notice that Pete’s noticed all of Harry’s millions of bandages.  Even Manu’s picked up on the stress and mentioned it in front of everyone…oh boys…you could have said you were nice and calm and relaxed.

Oh dear lord…not Harry has managed to stuff up the pepper shaker and there’s a mountain of pepper in his pot.  He should not be allowed to touch anything…perfect time for Manu to walk into the kitchen.  I think Harry needs a deep breath and a stiff drink right about now!!  If only…they went outside for a few moments.  But I seriously wouldn’t have let Harry get the tarts out of the oven…and then they’re cracking them onto the plates, if they weren’t cracking all over the joint I would be impressed.

Entrée – Caramelised Onion Tart.  Strangely enough both Miss WA and the Captain aren’t impressed, the Captain reckons it looks like cat food and poor Miss WA think it looks grey…constructive criticism would be nice guys…just a tad.  I’m liking Manu’s idea of putting the rocket on top of the tart, he has a point about putting warm things on fresh salad leaves…I’ll have to remember that.  Pete’s happy, but not overly enjoying the visual appeal of the onions.  Ditzy Darling is a classic “it tastes better than it looks, I wish I could have eaten it in the dark”…the Captain as usual is all over the joint, I was hungry so it filled the gap, but it wasn’t great.

Main – Prosciutto and Smoked Mozzarella Rolled Veal with Potato croquettes.  Oh hell…now one boy is going to kiss the other on the lips if they somehow make it back from the hole they’re in…please I’m slightly concerned!!!  Plus poor Harry is making croquettes one handed because of the four million bandaids he’s got on and Christo is almost stewing the veal by overcrowding pan…as for the bbq/grilled lemon…I’m not sure.  But it’s now been 1½ hours since entrée and yes, the Captain is complaining…surprise, surprise!!  Then the poor boys have a miscounting issue with the croquettes as they’re playing the last plate…honestly, counting is not all that difficult!!  So now they have to take a croquette off each plate.  I am predicting that Manu will ask where’s the sauce?? Oh FFS now the Captain thinks a 2 year old can tell that the meat is overcooked and dry…bloody heck, he’s in a ripping mood tonight.  Oh well…Pete was able to tell that it was overcooked, but he’s not 2 years old.  Yay Manu!!!! You commented on the complete lack of sauce!!! Thank you for that!  At least the SA mums get a laugh out of the dish.

Dessert – Blueberry and Frangipane Tart with Blueberry ripple ice-cream.  Thank goodness the boys have decided to try making pastry again, I couldn’t cope if they served pre-made pastry.  Good thing everyone else is getting as annoyed with the captain as me…negative 10 points, does he realise nobody would have scored him negative 10!!!  I’ve noticed though that poor Harry’s gone for a full glove now for his four million bandaids.  The dish looks nice…oh my goodness gracious me…not enough sugar in the ice-cream, it’s ice-cream, it requires some sugar, don’t undercut the sugar just because others have overdosed on it.  Pete thinks the dish is a bit too complex given what it could have been to make it more spectacular.  Strangely enough SA mum likes the dish, but the Captain is ready for blood and ready to push the boys off the rollercoaster ride.


Tas – 6

NSW – 5

SA – 5

WA – 3

Qld – 2

Judges….oh the boys have scored the same contestant’s score as the Captain and Trophy Wife

Entrée – Pete 7, Manu 7

Main – Manu 2 (OUCH!!!), Pete 2 (double ouch!!!)

Dessert – holy mother of god they waited over three hours for the dessert….WOW Manu 3, Pete 2

Bugger!!!!  The Captain is ahead of Hapless Harry…oh dear lord…good thing they haven’t shown the Captain yet!

Tomorrow we’re off to the mums in Adelaide…please let it be better than tonight’s dinner.


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