Bad Habits…

The NaBloPoMo prompt is…If you could quit one bad habit instantly without difficulty, which would it be?

Now one of the daily prompts asked about this previously… and I wrote this…

Does anxiety count as a habit???

If it does then I would gladly break up with that habit…break up with the super dose of anxiety and nerves that come before getting on a plane, the dose of nerves and anxiety that come before public speaking (not speaking in front of the cherubs, that’s easy, speaking in front of adults, well that’s a whole different story), the dose of nerves and anxiety that came on Friday before my interview…the anxiety that woke me at 3:45am and gave me a constant need to pee and had my palms sweating and hands shaking up until the phone rang and then had me feel like I needed a nap after getting off the phone.

Sure a bit of nerves is good, a bit of anxiety is good, ensuring you’re prepared and ready for what comes ahead is great, but there is good anxiety and there is over the top stupidly ridiculous anxiety that people who have never experienced it think is something that they can solve with a compliment or telling you to calm down…

Well here’s a news flash, when I’m in a full blown panic attack don’t tell me to breathe deeply, don’t tell me to breathe slowly, don’t tell me to calm down.  I’m damn well attempting all those things, while feeling like I’m having a heart attack and hyperventilating and shaking and crying and completely freaking out.

Here’s another news flash…when I say I need some space and I need some time away from everyone and everything then damn well let me.  It’s because my brain has hit overload and it needs some time to settle away from the prying eyes of the world, some time to get off the world’s fastest rollercoaster as that’s where it is.



1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. tjbarkerseattle
    Nov 17, 2013 @ 01:36:20

    Great post – insightful and fresh thoughts about anxiety as a habit!


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